Making Ends Meet

I'm sure this is the first thing people think about with separation and divorce. Assets and bills. Child care, especially in the midst of jobs and college.

Thanks to avoidance, I haven't necessarily felt that fear just yet. When family has asked, "How will you make it, Britt?" the first thing I say is, "I have no idea. I'm just taking it day by day."

Thinking too far into the future causes more anxiety than I care to deal with right now. Thinking too far in the past causes much regret. So, I stay here... right here, right now, each breath and each step. I listen to music. I eat string cheese and watch Sleepless in Seattle. I text my friends. I call my grandparents. I hang out on Facebook. I exercise. I just do what I can, now. So far, it seems to be keeping me at bay. Ali and I have so much fun together. She's the coolest little human on the planet.

I'm trying to add volleyball to our list of sports at the Y, in addition to going to church on Sundays, small group with child care, and a divorced/singles small group at church during the week. I want to get this right. I want to make the most of this experience and learn as much as I can so I can be a good example for Ali.

The only ends I'm meeting are the ends of one breath to the beginning of the next. And you know what? That's ok. I'm only one tiny little human on this huge planet of 7 billion people. I think this struggle will pass, for sure.

:)