About

My name is Brittany, and I'm starting over in a few different ways.

I started this blog to get through a transition in life. There are always changes going on, but the main one I'm referencing is leaving my job and going back to school. I was spending a ridiculous amount of time at work and not nearly enough time with my family and friends. The catch, was that my husband and I were living frugally enough that we could survive off my income alone, eliminating our need for childcare. It was a really nice set up at first, but I started to recognize what little postpartum happiness I was feeling, had been drained. I was a mess, going from work to home to work, not ever feeling good enough- as a mother, wife, boss, and employee. I wasn't focused on my health, drinking tons of energy drinks and relying on comfort food to get me through my day. I didn't clean or maintain any organization in my life, and I knew there was a bond with my daughter that needed to be strengthened.

Rewind to my first trimester: I had convinced Justin to quit his dead-end job at a major retail store because he had been unhappy for three years. He's not someone who just quits his job over something small, but spending 80% of his waking time in that place was enough to make us both go crazy. I felt his pain, not to mention, the negative haze that lived with us in our home all the time. I had loved my job and all that came with it. I was happy and working as full-time as I could, which was paying the bills. It was a very modest living, but a happy living. Once I recognized this, feeling comfortable, I asked Justin to please leave his job. With more consideration, he did, and all of ten days later, I found out we were expecting our first child.

Of course, there was a mild panic associated with our discovery, since we had just had a conversation about waiting three years to have a baby. We were really excited, but it couldn't have been more awkward timing. Just when we had the courage to start over.

Within a couple of weeks, we had a solution: Justin was going to take a contract overseas. It was kind of exciting, actually. We didn't receive a ton of support from family as to the timing of it all and the reasoning behind it, but they came around in the thick of it. We were excited that it'd be a great start to growing our family, because it'd make us more financially stable, given our recent choices.

The pregnancy went really well! I lived alone for about 27 weeks, and then Justin came home for the birth + a couple weeks into Ali's first month. When he headed back, although it was tough, we had a purpose. We stuck with it, and just before Ali turned 7 months old, we were able to bring our little family back together for good.

In those final 6 months of his deployment, I challenged myself to take a position in management with a restaurant. I saw it as a move toward personal growth and development. As corny as it sounds, I knew management would be tough. I knew I'd learn my strengths and weaknesses, and that it'd be a huge challenge for a single parent (at that time). I also saw it as securing a future for my family, since my husband's return could potentially put us back at square one.

Long story short, it was a very big challenge. I spent too much time away from my daughter, gave up every first holiday- or at least half the day on each holiday. I watched my husband get to bond with her, and in turn, felt really insecure about my inconsistencies in motherhood. I was scattered. I didn't keep a great schedule. I forgot to pay bills. I was always frustrated, jealous, insecure. As things continued to become more challenging at work, I asked what was I truly doing with my life? At some point, I had a passion for this place, but that's all changed. I realized I had been married to my job. I was treating the situation as a "for better or worse" and choosing to stay committed no matter what. One day, I just realized I was no longer getting out of work what I was putting in. Most importantly, I realized I was free to choose something different for our lives- that this wasn't where I had to stay.

... and that's really where I feel my next chapter started. I am looking to minimize and refocus on the important things. My marriage, our mental, physical and emotional health, and going back to school for something about which I can be passionate. This blog is just dedicated to making a better life.