Slacker

Last week was such a slacking kind of week, but I can't even stress about it. Justin and I were tired of the crazy hectic schedules, so we kept Ali from her sitter (which is often my grandmother), Justin stayed home with her, and I went to school one day, but not the others because I felt really sick. Not only did we have school + Ali home, I was transitioning between both jobs, finishing one and training at the other. So I was a bit run down and for the first time in a while, I caught myself having anxiety again. It wasn't enough for me to make mention of it in therapy, because I knew it was just a stressful week and everyone can have those every once in a while :)

Not only did I miss school, I missed therapy. I have usually prioritized both, but I think I'm at that point in my semester where it's just getting so tiring and I'm just dragging with my assignments and remembering my calendars. I'm sure it happens to every college kid out there, so I'm also not letting that get to me, either. 

And finally, I resolved to change my routine this week since it was kind of a big deal to me. I am leaving restaurants- the only thing I've really ever done aside from school- and moving onto being a Wellness Coach, focusing on eating well, exercising, preventative measures against illness and disease, and so much more. I just wanted to get out of my slump. 

One of the ways I thought I'd handle getting out of this slump is by doing Beachbody's 3 Day Refresh.

If you haven't heard about it, I just want to take a moment and tell you that it's not a typical cleanse. It's not going to send you running to the bathroom, and you still have many small meals, so your metabolism isn't compromised during the cleanse period. It's a mixture of shakes, healthy fats, vegetables, fruits, and other small recipes throughout the day. The biggest challenge I've faced are the cravings, but not the hunger pains or any poor side effects (think headache, sluggishness, fatigue). 

Anyway, long story short, I'm on Day 3 of the cleanse and feeling so great! I've had such great focus in class this week, had great energy levels, and feel like I'm getting a nice re-start to whatever it is I'm planning to accomplish. I have had a nice, confident few days with good posture and pride in my appearance. 

I'll write more with results when I've completed it tomorrow, but I thought I'd throw it out there in case anyone was looking for something like this for himself or herself! 

New Job

So one thing that I have really only talked about with family and close friends, is my transition completely out of the restaurant business. I know to many people that doesn't seem like a shift, but I feel compelled to write about it because of what I have come to know.

I have worked in restaurants since I was 16, so a little over 10 years now. I've loved so much of it because of the fast-paced environment and the people I get to meet on a daily basis. I have hosted, run food, taken to-go orders, cocktail waitressed, been a full-time server, a server's assistant, an assistant manager, and a general manager. I've even had very very little-but significant to me-experience in dishwashing and the cold line! So at the end of the day, restaurants just make sense to me. I get the business model, the atmosphere, and the fun. I also appreciate the food, wine, cocktails and specific service from each restaurant as I've moved through the years. Where I am now, it's incredibly detailed and structured. The food is wonderful and the chef is well-known. The events in the city almost always have some tie to this restaurant, and the reviews stay very positive. But it's just time to go.

I saw an opening (on behalf of a friend) for a Wellness Coach position at the YMCA. I have many childhood memories of the Y and all that I did there, but I had no idea what it looked like from the employee's perspective. I worried it wouldn't pay well, and that the hours would conflict with my school schedule.

... but is there childcare? Yes?! SOLD!

I interviewed for the position thinking I'd hopefully be able to get it even though the only tie to wellness that I really have is my current pursuit of a Nursing degree. It worked! I got the job and soon found that I'd be taking a few classes to learn how to do my position, and that I'd be focusing on helping people exercise, eat well and take care of themselves by setting realistic goals and checking back in with me periodically.

Today was my first day training, and I have to say my experience with applying, interviewing, paperwork and training has been wonderful. I'm so looking forward for my daughter to have a place to go while I go into work and my husband returns from his job. I look forward to a position that focuses on wellness and keeps me aligned with my educational, professional and personal goals.

I'm probably on a high, but right now, I have to express my excitement at how amazing this feels to be doing something so different from the stressful shifts and running around trying to please everyone. Not to mention all of those gluten allergies ;)

Grumpy Cat Problems

This has been a crazy week about which I'm not 100% divulging. However, there is one thing I'd love to share about this week:

Our twelve year old cat, Fred, has been a really big booger. He once was an incredible cat, who adapted to so many of our life transitions. He was so sweet, and I was proud to talk about his neat little quirks. But since Ali has been 6 months old (so that's been about a year now), he's acted strange. He will go in and out of the house really frequently (we let him roam outside, but now he's outside maybe 80% of the time). He meows SO incredibly loud to be let back in, yet he refuses to use his litter box. He used to just pee in the bath tub, next to the drain, which honestly didn't bother me. However, it progressed to the kitchen floor, which is wood. Now that wood has gone from a cinnamon color to black, and it's warped and peeling. This past week, we discovered he'd peed and pooped inside the box spring in the guest bedroom. We had to take the box spring apart and we were so disheartened by the smell, we just took the bed out completely. We rented a Rug Doctor and started cleaning the carpets, only to have him use the bathroom in every single room in the house after having cleaned them. We are now on day five of the Rug Doctor rental and there's no end in sight. I've come to believe that Ali is really the only major change of this kind, that he hasn't adapted to. I'm not saying it's definitive of his behavior because I'm just not a professional. But out of 12 years, he's had many "brothers" and "sisters" both feline and canine, and he's adapted to them all. He's also had many homes with many transitions and no problems. But a baby... Ali's the only one. So I'm wondering if an older couple on a nice acre of land would do the trick?

The silver lining this week is that there's possibly an end to the craziness. I like the idea of the stress being reduced, and I like the potential for Fred to be happy somewhere else.

We've converted the guest bedroom to an office and we've been able to sort through a lot of things simply because the situation called for it. So it kinda lit a fire up under us to be a little more productive. For that, I'm thankful.

But I'm praying I find a good home for my buddy. After all, in our household, I've known and loved him the longest.

My brain... on procrastination

Thoughts at a Starbucks, with the best intentions of writing my Microbiology paper:

I need to just write down my ideas and come back to them later, and focus on this paper. 

Listening to a guy with a crazy zest for life. It's cute, but I really wonder if it's genuine.

Working on my stuff at Starbucks is awesome except for the random crowd rush every 30 minutes. Especially the teenagers beside me. So much talking- I really regret not having head phones. One of them looks like Cliff. 

This paper, though...

KristyLeeBaby/Etsy/Gray headbands for Ali and myself?

Does it really take 5 hours to update my phone to iOS 8.2.0 or whatever? 

I need to charge my Fitbit. And use it more. And blog more. 

I literally have to write about every single antibiotic and antiseptic used in lab. That's 12 things on 4 different organisms. 48 results. No. No. NO. 

What people think

I've fallen prey to what people think of me all too often. I have been called "big nose" in school, I have been picked at for my scoliosis and my rough, dry skin. I am not athletic, even though I enjoy being active. I've been told I have horse teeth. I had braces for five years, only to have my teeth go crooked once more when my wisdom teeth arrived. But you know, the physical stuff isn't as big a deal to me as the emotional stuff. You know what I mean- when people think I'm snooty, stuck up, rude, inconsiderate, unintelligent, passive aggressive, don't have a backbone- I could go on and on. What's worse are those trite sayings like the one to the right with which I just don't agree:

Basically, I'm trying to bring up the fact that it's tough to be judged on the kind of person that I am, because that's ultimately the only thing I can control. Sure, I could get braces again, get a nose job, and try to improve my posture... but on some level, this is just what I've been handed. The part of my life that is in control is how I treat people and what I learn from my experiences. How can I teach my daughter to be an amazing woman? To be kind, thoughtful, caring, loving, and courageous? What about her confidence? Her self-worth? The only way I know to do this is to improve my behaviors and the words I choose.

I've always had such a tough time forgiving myself for mistakes. When I was in kindergarten, I refused to spell words I knew I couldn't spell. Didn't even want to try them, knowing I'd be wrong. How did I learn to be that way? Was it instinct or built in? Was it ingrained in me from an influential person in my life? It still happens today, except in the form of disappointment with myself and not matching up to this person I'd like to be.

I've thought about this a lot, and I plan to ask it in therapy. Have you ever just had an encounter with someone and found that they are really rude? Inconsiderate? Snooty? Condescending?

If so, when someone thinks that about you, aren't you reminded of the times you've met people like this and genuinely thought the same? So how can you be so sure of who you are and what you do, to brush it off, when you could have very well misrepresented yourself and come off the wrong way- or a way you didn't intend? That's what I grapple with every single day. I don't have answers. The only thing I do know, is there's a little bit of hope in the kind of person I am that I think about these things passionately and I want to be present in them. Otherwise, I can't help but think, "what if I am?"

Coffee Shops

I have a love for coffee shops when it comes to getting any kind of work done- budgeting, blogging, homework, and to-do lists. As I've sought out more places in the city to do my productive things, I've found another reason to love coffee shops (and maybe just another reason to love Atlanta).

So far, anytime I go into a coffee shop, I'm pleasantly surprised at the thoughtfulness and willingness that other people have to meet new people. I've had people let me sit with them, just so I can charge my laptop and get my schoolwork submitted online. I've had people ask me questions about my laptop and talk about theirs, just to make small talk. One older gentleman wanted to talk all about how excited he was to see Lorde at Music Midtown. And just yesterday, I happened to look up at one guy who was taking notes that seemed similar to mine. Turns out, he was taking prerequisites for nursing, too. We had a nice chat about our goals and some things we look forward to when school is finally behind us. When he left, I went back to studying, only to look up and be asked about what I was studying (again). The person who asked me, this time, happened to be studying for his MCATs. A past student at Emory, he was just doing some more prerequisites for med school and studying Organic Chemistry. He ended up sharing with me a tool that he uses to study on his iPad. It's just a compilation of tests on any particular subject, so a person can just spend hours and hours practicing tests if he/she so chooses.

Sometimes I wonder how beautifully orchestrated things seem to be, because of situations like these. Meeting genuinely nice people who want to connect, but also finding that the people sitting next to me are on similar paths. I have to admit I probably light up when I notice the similarities, because I'm so desperate to make connections and believe in this city. And I love it when those people prove me right!