...Or at least reached a settlement so that divorce will happen next week.
I'll get to go back to my maiden name. I'll get to focus on the end of my legal fees, for now. I'll plan for how to move forward without wondering about the budget being completely dried up, and I'll be able to breathe... even if just for a moment.
It's a bittersweet feeling. It's refreshing, invigorating, freeing, and happy. But it's the end of a significant chapter of my life, and the beginning of another one where I journey with friends and family and no real partner. Not to say I haven't been doing that to some degree already, but it's different. It's official. And as official as it is, it feels more possible now. Like I don't have to hide and like I don't have to somehow make things sound better than they are, or gloss over the fact that the divorce still isn't final. I'm going to have the paperwork and documentation that allows me to move forward independently with the things I'd like to do in mine and Ali's lives. Everything will be in writing. Everything will have a reference point and this parenting plan will include the tools we need to run the business of raising our daughter, and hopefully remove a lot of the tension and emotion that has clouded our ability to see ourselves as Ali's parents instead of two people who didn't continue their marriage.
