Is Love Really a Subaru?

My lack of posts with personal life lessons, tied into what's currently going on, is due to a seemingly never-ending search for a replacement to our Santa Fe. Thankfully, I believe that search is over.

Looking online for weeks, sifting through cars in the $3,000-$5,000 range was pretty... educational. I learned that Volkswagen Jettas & Passats, BMWs (325i), Honda Civics, and many others are a dime a dozen- does that surprise you as much as it did me? I figured that with the Jettas and the BMWs, I'd rather be in a position to purchase a warranty of some sort to protect us from future issues, especially since we weren't finding many "single owners" of these vehicles.   I also found that our desired cars, a Toyota Camry or Honda Accord, are easy to come by. Unfortunately, the interiors aren't all well-maintained, and we haven't found one that we can see ourselves loving. But Friday night, I saw a posting for a 2000 Subaru Forester. It's 14 years old, but when I saw pictures, it looked immaculate. I saw the price, and it was well within our range. I saw in the description that it had only one owner, and all the maintenance records were preserved. We finally got a chance to see it today, and the owner wasn't lying- he had a big binder of all the maintenance records, hole-punched and stored in order by date.

We took it for a drive around the area, and we were convinced it was the car for us. It's super practical, has great ratings, good personal reviews, and many people claim it's longevity to be impressive. That, and the fact that we have a good amount of space in the car for our baby + 3 animals, we are happy campers. Oh! And did I mention it has all-wheel drive?! How awesome!

The beginning of our search for a car was daunting. I was disheartened a few times when I saw what our decided budget was getting us with our search. I was worried about being tricked into purchasing something with lots of hidden problems. Not to mention, it's a personal challenge to choose to own something that's older, a little worn in, and that doesn't have a new smell. It's silly, but the truth is, we chose not to entertain those stars in our eyes when it came to considering a new vehicle. We put our family, our commitment to school and work, and our financial freedom first.

And I only have one word to describe how I feel in our journey: free.

Stress and Release

I'm convinced that we are a nation of stressed out people (heh, a not-so-novel idea, I'm aware). And not being stressed out is a sought-after concept, although it feels somewhat foreign and uncomfortable when we find moments in our lives where we can actually experience it. And when you think you aren't stressed, do a double-take of your habits just to be sure. They'll reveal to you what's really going on inside.

I'm speaking from recent personal experience, of course.

Months after I've decided to release myself from the responsibilities of management in a fast-paced, all holidays, all summer, no-day-off-without-checking-in lifestyle, I have subconsciously taken on the stress of others (i.e. my husband). Justin has recently taken a position in sales for a well-known insurance company. His main target for sales is with small business. It's a great product, and he looks and performs wonderfully in his new role. I know there are hard working men out there, but my husband could probably outlast most of them. He simply doesn't give up, even when it's truly draining.  At first, the stress went semi-unrecognized. Yeah, I'm making less than my income with my previous job, but I get my time with my family back (there's never enough time with baby girl). Yes, I just totaled our car and we've yet to hear from the adjuster what the cash value is, and nope- no gap insurance this time around, BUT we get to simplify our lives and purchase something without the demands of a car payment anymore! Yes, those businesses like to give my hubby the runaround, rescheduling the day of, or simply not getting back to him with decisions- YET, he's making so much progress and this is only the beginning to a successful year, I just know it. I've found the silver lining in almost every challenge.

So how did I notice I was stressing when I seemed to be taking so much in stride? It could be that I was tossing and turning each night, to no avail. That I haven't exercised except for a few walks around the neighborhood in the past two weeks. Or that yesterday, I had this crazy drink called an Ameri-Cola from a great little coffee shop close to work (espresso poured over a Mexican Coca-Cola)... and a doughnut... at 3:30pm, to try and avoid my daily crash before heading home. Or that this morning I ordered coffee and doughnuts before work- I guess 16 hours was simply too long before ordering more. I've been bloated, having hot flashes, and craving only comfort foods. Something's gotta give, even though on the surface, I'm truly feeling okay!

Anyway, as I sit at home, feeling good and drinking really, really cheap wine, I had this aha! moment and had to share. My entire week has consisted of paring down our belongings, working, long talks with Justin, missing my baby while I'm in the city, and searching for an affordable and practical car. I've been trying to release writing ideas in my daily journal, but this one felt good to write without waiting.

What are some things you do out of habit from stress? How do you choose to combat them? I guess my answer would be I get lost in television shows, remain sedentary, and eat very poorly. Of course, I will have to combat them by simply doing the exact opposite! Bleh.

The Minimalism Game

Having started reducing the clutter in our home over the past week, feeling the noticeable difference in my energy and ability to maintain a few spaces, I've decided to play The Minimalism Game. One thing that I've learned from my readings is that the word "minimalism" doesn't refer to a specific set of rules, and it doesn't represent one super-specific, defined lifestyle. Instead, each person can determine for himself/herself what minimalism means, and just how the apply that guiding term to his/her lifestyle.

I have concluded that The Minimalist Game is a way of connecting to others as we all reach for what we determine is our own minimalist lifestyle. I don't even have words for what I think it means for my life, but I do have an image in my head of what I hope my life becomes as a result of reducing the weight of our clutter in our home.

The way it goes is quite simple: on day 1, you get rid of one item. On day 2, two items, and so on. Apparently in the beginning, it seems really easy, but as the month goes on, finding 30 things in one day to get rid of can be a much bigger challenge. I think I'm falling into thinking it's quite easy and that I can probably do this game for the upstairs and downstairs separately (but I won't get ahead of myself!).

To keep on my roll, I started off with the kitchen. I went through every cabinet and drawer and set aside duplicates... too many measuring cups, too many bowls, glassware we never use, and such. Although there are many things I think I could go without from this point forward, I'm setting all of it aside in the garage until the 30 days is up. That way, I can make sure my count is correct, and that come the end of the month, I still haven't missed those items.

Here's what I found in the kitchen, right off the bat--------->

In a very quick description: just a few coffee/tea cups that we never use, wine glasses with stems that are now impractical for us, a couple of plastic pitchers, glass mixing bowls (way too heavy for really using them), glass bakeware which rarely gets chosen over our metal bakeware, measuring spoons/cups, and a couple of knick knacks.

Do you think The Minimalist Game could help you? If you want to do it with me, keep in touch about how it's changing your home life!

-Britt

Choosing Simple

We did recently find out our car was officially totaled by the insurance company, but we haven't finalized anything regarding our payout and where we stand with the cash value. With each day, I'm actually becoming more and more grateful that this has happened. There's so much more going on around this incident than the replacement of a car.

Justin and I have been on a little mission to find something that works for our family. Something that serves a purpose but not an ego. I've been looking all over for leads to different cars, but with our price range, we're finding lots of high miles, and it's been a bit intimidating. But I know something is out there, and will serve the purpose of getting us to and from Atlanta on the workdays. 

I shared the small steps I took to make the kitchen a little more simple. That was just one wall, but with those small changes I had made, came such a large difference. The kitchen has been clean for over a week now, with steady and consistent dishwashing and cleaned counters. I know to a lot of people, it's expected, routine. I hope that it becomes that way for me. But for right now, it's honestly a treat! 

Next, I took that momentum (and coffee, my artificial momentum) and tackled Ali's clothes. My Lord, all the clothes. I washed everything and then tried my hardest to match up every outfit. I set aside any outfits that were really meaningful, like her Christmas outfit, her "My First Thanksgiving" bib, that kind of thing. I set those in keepsake boxes and plan to protect them until one day I can maybe even whittle those down into just a few pieces that are so special I can pass them down to her one day. I'll take a picture of the boxes I'm using to store them and share on here soon. They are beautiful, simple, and a great size for baby clothes. All I need for the future is some acid-free tissue paper to keep the clothes protected. 

Finally, I did all the laundry! I separated, folded, and put it away, and now I think I've finally worked up the momentum to go through my ridiculous amount of clothes. I still have clothes from high school that I hardly wear. I look forward to, while simultaneously dreading, the attempt at this next goal. However, given how darn good it feels to finally have clear thoughts and energy when I'm at home, I can't go back. And I am hoping this is a new lifestyle I can officially adopt. 

Have you felt like I have recently?  You look around your house, finding it difficult to reconcile the chaos and unorganized spaces. You spend an extra five minutes every morning looking for your car keys. You smell your dirty laundry to find an acceptable shirt to wear. You eat microwaveable meals each day because you simply feel like the last thing you want to do is cook or prepare a healthy meal. You pin every healthy, organized, well-designed idea to your Pinterest Board, and by the time you're done, you have no will to actually put those ideas into action. Do you feel like you've been slaving away at a job, and all your productivity seems to be going into your work, with nothing left for your home life? 

I'm trying something different. I want a change. I want less, so I can live more. 

-Britt

New, Purposeful Name

Welcome to A Better Blog!

As I've networked and met many people, I've obtained the nickname "BThrog." My last name (eh em, married name, not my simple maiden name) is kind of a booger. It's not hard to pronounce, but people tend to get bogged down in all the letters, I guess. Throgmorton. It sounds funny at first and then you get used to it- at least I did.

While I had the goal of reserving a domain name, I knew I didn't want the blog to be called "BThrog's blog" for long. Not everyone knows BThrog. Not to mention, while I draw from personal experiences, I don't want this blog to be just about me. My goal is to have a community of readers who look for refreshing stories, often with a purpose behind them.

Because I tend to talk about many topics, not easily categorizing my blog into anything other than "lifestyle," I had to think of a name that could encompass the ambiguity (until I truly find my niche). When it came down to it, I realized that in order for me to give a description of the purpose of it all, I concluded that I write this to simply be better. I write to be able to let go. I also write to connect. And finally, I write about things that I feel improve my day-to-day. Whether I'm sharing a healthy meal, a workout, another inspirational blog, a story from which a valuable lesson was learned, or a challenge I've set for myself. I always want to be moving forward, thus, always bettering myself.

If you choose to learn from each decision you make, can you really ever make a bad one? Within that process, you come out a better person.

Now that I've put it out there, with the domain name to officially change in the next 1-48 hours, I do hope to fulfill my goal with my writing.

Until soon.

Marginally a Minimalist

Since I've been in the habit of talking about clutter, cleaning, and car accidents, I figured I'd expand upon it all.

Justin and I were informed yesterday that it's quite possible that our car has been totaled. We purchased it used from a dealership, with a premium warranty. It's a 2011 Hyundai Santa Fe- what we deem very practical for our family. We don't have any need for leather seats, a sunroof, GPS, or heated seats, so we got a very practical trim model, with the perfect amount of space for a carseat, two large dogs, and Justin and myself. It was the kind of purchase you get excited about because you will finally have the space, but simple enough that you just feel like it was a solid move for your family. I'd give Justin and myself a pat on the back for it, you know?

But according to a gentleman who was present when the Santa Fe was brought in, there's pretty significant damage to the frame of the vehicle, which could very well cause it to be totaled by our insurance company. By the way, while I'm writing this, an idle voice in my head keeps saying "First-World problem, Brittany. First-World Problem."

So, I put on my thinking cap and tried to consider options for when we hear the news, if that news happens to be that our beloved practical purchase is no longer in service... nor will it ever be.

Well, I just made a pretty bold decision to leave a salaried position as the general manager of a restaurant, to work in the city and see my sweet baby's milestones. The other part of that plan is to go back to school. It was bold because at the time, my income was supporting our family. My husband has since found a good job, but with training, and the fact that it's in sales, he has very little provable income right now. I've only been at my job for about a month, and my provable income is quite low, as I've been training for a portion of it, too.

Bottom line, it's not a great time to jump into another loan. Even if we take a cash value for the Santa Fe, pay off the current loan, and start over... it's just not a smart move. It's not secure.

Finally- the point I'm trying to make is that Justin and I have talked about living more minimally. We've considered just purchasing an older, used car with no bells and whistles, for a much smaller price- think a decade old Honda Accord or Toyota Camry. Anymore, I don't think we'll be trying to have a larger SUV around which to haul our family. Yes, it'd be a luxury and nice to have, but it's also a car payment we could eliminate. It wasn't hurting us to pay for it, but it also wasn't helping us. And I'm beginning to see really clearly that when I find myself in a predicament such as this recent accident, the car isn't really what's important. Not only that, I'm stressing over something I own, mostly because it's financed. I'd be stress-free if I simply no longer something of that value.

This revelation, along with a few others, led me digging for some good reads on minimalism. Of course, if there's a great reference, it has to be from a TED Talk! I'm going to link that talk here, and I encourage anyone to open his/her mind to what these guys have to say about living with less. It's incredible how much this resonates with me, especially as I was just writing about how sometimes I'd rather burn the clutter than sort through it just to give it a "home" in my home.

What do you think about minimalism?

Tidying Up

Since my accident on Friday, I've been given some pretty strong prescriptions for my neck and back pain. On Saturday, I slept about 20 hours. Sunday, I slept around 12. Today, I woke up with a good bit of energy. I resolved not to take any medicine until the evening, and as usual, I made some coffee to get the day going.

That had me so wired that I started (actually, finished) projects that I'd been putting off for months.

Pictured below is the way our semi-clean kitchen looked earlier today. I purchased that shelving/counter unit at IKEA when I was about 6 months pregnant, and it originally served the purpose of storage for new baby items for which our kitchen didn't really have the space. Since then, I've shifted things around and it's become a catch-all.

Before

I purchased display frames from IKEA, and a cable/wire display cord that will be featured in the following picture:

After

Pardon the blurry phone pic, but I just wanted to show what a difference it made to clear the unnecessary clutter, add beautiful photos that tie in many subdued, natural colors, and place a personal touch with the cable that displays Justin's latest Father's Day card.

I have bigger plans for this wall, but until I can execute them, this will certainly do!

Below, is the other kitchen project I knocked out today:

We've had a large wicker basket holding all of Baby Girl's food. It served its purpose, but once again, I had lots of incomplete projects, and this was definitely one of them. For about $10, I was able to create vertical space in the kitchen without taking away from existing storage. Now we can see her food as we prep her meals, and we enjoy just a tad bit more counter space.

This is my beautiful helper.

She loves to dust and be a part of Mommy's cleaning spurts! I couldn't have asked for a more precious kiddo!

Do you have any tricks for creating more counter space, or maybe even hacking some IKEA products?

-Britt

Messy Much?

Are you a messy person? If so, do people know you're a messy person? I've been disorganized, cluttered, and a bit careless with my things since I was about 19 years old. I could break it all down into why or how I became this person, but that would take us too far off track. The bottom line is that I wasn't always like this.

Can you tell the cat gets more use out of the office than we do?

I was the girl who begged her mom to help rearrange her bedroom once a month. I made my bed over and over, sometimes doubling up my comforters because I wanted my bed to look like it came out of a magazine. I had a place for every. little. thing. Down to tiny compartments for each type of hair tie.

However, for the past 7 years, I have been completely different. Sure, I go on a cleaning spree from time to time, but it usually ends with me passing out from exhaustion and bloated from too much caffeine. I have a bad habit of scrubbing the floors before wiping down countertops, even though all the cleaning blogs tell you to work from top to bottom (it only makes sense). I also have a horrible habit of simply not maintaining a clean home.

Anyway, I have always said that your home is a reflection of what's going on inside of you. I believe it wholeheartedly. When Justin left for Afghanistan, I was 13 weeks pregnant. I didn't have to work full-time, and I usually had at least 3 days off each week. I told myself that I was going to be a kick-ass housewife by the time he returned. Why? Because living alone would force me to confront my issues with organization and upkeep, since there would be no one there to blame but me. My goals were lofty, along with a nesting phase that only made them loftier.

But I was wrong.

Yes, sadly I lived about a year like this. 

My messy-ness was exacerbated by a lack of energy, coupled with the incessant desire to start, and half-way finish, a bajillion little projects. I managed to paint two sets of dressers, a crib, a nightstand, a foyer, living room, kitchen, and bedroom. I made a window valence and added shelving to the nursery closet. That was all well and good, but I wasn't taming the chaos before adding more stuff to the house. I kept masking the mess with tons of projects and ideas from Pinterest. I wasn't preparing myself for a house with a baby- I was merely decorating the disorder.

When Justin got home, the house really was crazy. It took him all of 3 days before he sat on the floor and asked who we could get to babysit while we tackled the issue of cleaning the shared spaces (that's excluding the entire upstairs, people!).

I've really started asking myself what I can live without, and because of that, I'm slowly getting things put away. I've reached a point recently, where I've been so overwhelmed by clutter, I'd just as soon throw all that we have away, and start over with nothing. Having too much stuff really is an indication that something internally is a bit off balance. For me, I think it's strongly related to my really awful time-management skills. It's also forcing me to recognize that our money could have been put to better use. It's acknowledging the amount of energy it will take to both sort through the chaos and make choices to keep those things (if so, having to ask myself how and why it is of use to me), and then find a way to give it a home.

Is there an area in your home that needs a little TLC? Do you have any go-to websites, blogs, or books for organizing? My favorite one (that I promise has helped tremendously) is this one.

First Week of Blogging Blues

I have a well thought-out plan for this blog to feature so much of the material I think of in my head. However this week I completely fumbled, and for good reason.

This week I was in a car accident. I was headed to the interstate from work, and one of the roads was shut down from construction. Instead of back tracking and taking a more congested route, since it was rush hour on a Friday, I opted for GoogleMaps to guide me to the least populated route. It took me far to the westside of the city, which isn't the nicest area (understatement). I didn't look at my phone, pick it up, or anything. I just let it sit in my lap and tell me where to go. Because I wasn't quite familiar with the area, I missed the on-ramp to the interstate and was forced ahead to the next stop light. It was raining outside, and my confidence was a bit too high, for no apparent reason. The light was green and all I saw were cars (from the oncoming traffic side) waiting to make lefthand turns, so I courageously made a U-turn. Welp, that's where it all ended... or where the crash began- however you care to define it.

Of course, it seemed out of nowhere, that a Prius came gliding toward me in slow-motion. I felt like I was on some virtual roller-coaster/theme park ride where I see this crazy thing happen and for a second, it just feels like a movie. I get t-boned on the right hand side of my vehicle and go sliding into the middle of the street, airbags deploying and all. I looked up and couldn't see anything because the airbags covered every side of the car, but I heard crying and smelled smoke. I'm guessing the airbags were what smelled of smoke. The lady in the Prius was crying, and I believe it was because she was so scared something happened to me since no one could see me inside (what I gathered from bits and pieces of what she had been saying). People walked up to the car to see if I was alright, and then told me to stay inside. I quickly grabbed my phone to dial the police. I couldn't hear anything from my phone. I swore it wasn't working, but I talked into it anyway. I told them where we were, described the vehicles and named the street signs. I told the lady on the phone that I couldn't see the Prius to remember the color, and she asked me to step out side of the car. Once I did, I finished the call and walked over to the Prius. The lady was so shaken, I reached my hand inside to grab hers and hold it and told her we were okay, and that we'd be alright...

About an hour and a half later, I was cited for an "improper u-turn" and had my insurance towing the car. My husband and brother both drove separately to meet me, and my mom was blowing up my phone with the mission of getting me checked by a doctor.

Aside from intermittent headaches and what felt like strong, contracting neck muscles, I felt okay. Justin took me to the urgent care clinic and after some x-rays, I was in the clear. I was told by everyone and their mother that I'd be in much more pain the next day, so to just rest, ice, and medicate to be prepared for the morning. They were right, and that next day (Saturday) I slept for 20 hours.

But in this process, I realized a few things:

1. What I'm truly grateful for, is that the woman in the other car was not harmed at all.
2. I was very fortunate to have a great insurance policy (but Lord, I don't what to know what my premium may cost after this!).
3. I was so fortunate to have my loved ones driving through rush hour traffic, into the city, to be by my side when I could have very well remained all alone.

I could list a million reasons why that day turned into a great day, but those are my top three. I could tear up, just realizing how blessed I am. When I get bogged down in having better things, or even worrying about what people think of me, and why some friendships seem to dissipate when I least expect them to, it's all a moo-point. At that moment, that wasn't even a blip on my radar.

And trust me, it'll be a long time before I forget what an idiot I was for taking that risk and making such a poor judgement as a driver. I'm not sure if I can reach out to the lady who was also involved, but my goal over this week is to find her and some how give a gift to show my remorse. I caused her to have a horrible day, I'm sure. I'll never forget that.

What's one thing that happened in your life that had you feeling blessed in the middle of an emergency, accident, trauma, etc?

A Blog Lover's Blog

I get it. There are a thousand and one (realistically, probably more than that) lifestyle blogs for you to follow, pin, or share. So why this one? Honestly, most of you may find that this doesn't fulfill your needs in the blog world. Many of you will think that it's just another "mom blog" or a through point  for selling products, or just a place to read my aired-out business (ever come across one of those?), ha!

The truth is, I have an overwhelming desire to connect with people on a regular basis, and I feel like blogging is an excellent way to do so. Why? Because I'm not afraid to share my life with others for the sake of them realizing they aren't alone.

If you want to go to a blog that teaches you how to cook, photograph, and entertain a plate of foie gras, this won't be a blog you enjoy. I may make the occasional plant-based, blog-worthy meal in an attempt to make it look like I have my life together and I adhere to a stupid-strict diet. But many days, I struggle. And although I have a knack for taking some pretty photos of food, I don't cook everyday, and I love Amy's Meals too much to bother with a ton of time in the kitchen. That being said, you may still find some kitchen inspiration here and there.

If you're looking for a blog with thinspiration, this isn't exactly the right place (yet I can provide you with a blog that is). I'm actively trying to work on my very average, post-baby body, and pictures of myself will not inspire you. I think that living an active, healthy lifestyle is essential to being happy and getting the most out of each day. As a mom of a 16 month-old, this doesn't always happen. I aspire to this, and you're welcome to join me as I make an effort each day to create healthy habits. I'd love to hear from you what you enjoy in your healthy lifestyle!

I have some strong opinions about a few beauty products, and I appreciate an array of brands and products that I use daily. But this isn't a beauty blog. I might chime in a couple of times about what I truly love and why, but I won't be as helpful as this blog.

Organization is also a really popular topic these days. There are some incredible blogs out there, like A Bowl Full of Lemons, which inspire and energize me on days when I feel like doing nothing. The standards upheld in Toni's household far surpass mine, but it's all serving a purpose to inspire people to take care of their things, creating order, space and time in their lives. I may try to do a few things in my home that are noteworthy, but this blog can't simply be about organizing. I wouldn't make it very far!

I'm not a perfect mommy, and blogging solely about motherhood wouldn't fit me well (but again, I know of one that suits this lady well). I love my little family and I fight for balance each day. This is all in the midst of my daughter learning (and loving) the word, "no." Might I also mention that she is now becoming more aware of her diaper and the tabs that keep it on her person? Many pees on the floor have taken place, and she seems to be loving every minute of this personal discovery. These are the days that truly feel like we are progressing at an exponential rate. It's extremely fulfilling to make a deeper connection with my little person, but it's incredibly bittersweet. Time is elusive. Who knows? I may have some sweet stories that hit home with someone, and that's what I hope this blog achieves.

Finally, this isn't a super-crafty blog, either. I do have a crafty gene. I don't have a ton of crafting time. But I'm going to try to do things that are share-worthy and fun!

I'm not even going to say, "I hope you'll enjoy my blog..." or "Come with me on my journey through motherhood, weight loss, organizing, creating, cooking, bleep bloop blorp." If you enjoy it, you enjoy it. If you don't- I promise there's another blog out there for you and you'll find it!

-Britt