I have found that sharing my story- the whole shebang- has allowed me to move forward with better choices than I could have made in my occasional, very scattered and uncertain state in the muck of it all. My job was one of the inspirations to just open up, and as I read more on the topic of vulnerability and connection, wholehearted living, and accepting who I am- loving myself in spite of it all- I really thought there was a lot to this opening up thing.
The whole point of what I do for my job, is to help people create better habits to increase their success with reaching the goals they set for themselves. The other part of it is to connect with them and give them a reason to come back. I chose to break that reason to come back down a little further. I knew that the accountability was attractive to new members- Big Brother was watching them and noticing if they weren't working out or hitting goals. They often feel like it has been a missing link to their past attempts at getting in shape, getting well, coming off medications, that kind of thing. But having been through therapy and realizing that there was so much more than accountability that contributed to someone's success or failure in anything, I had to go there. But the only way I allow myself to do that, is to develop a rapport, usually by sharing my own personal goals, struggles, weaknesses, and a few of my revelations about myself through therapy. I ask a ton of questions and I find a way to completely relate to that other person. For example, a parent came in with her daughter, an 8th grader, who had a pretty strong degree of scoliosis. Her daughter was thinking of trying out for sports, but wasn't most athletically inclined, and had been homeschooled, so she didn't have the same coaching in school sports that other kids had already experienced for years. She clearly liked school and was dabbling in sports, but she didn't run fast, had a heavy foot, and wasn't super coordinated (said her mom). I told her that I, too, have a 36 degree curvature in my spine and had limitations in running and coordination. I had back pain as early as 16 years old, but I fell in love with running and found that I generally settled in to my skills later in high school. I admitted that I never really found my groove in team sports, but I was really happy competing with myself. She smiled pepped up at that point. Her mom meant well, but I would have done anything to boost her after those comments. Some part of me now, or in the past, will connect with them- it never fails. I live for that- and it's on such a small scale.So why is it that sharing what sometimes feels like personal "drama" is so effective at actually helping others? I have asked myself the same question. How could it be delivered in a way that didn't suck the energy out of the person, but instead, inspire them because they could feel connected? Probably more of a feel it out/best judgement situation.
But my point is that I feel like the act of sharing my struggles in a way that helped others was a huge boost for me. It got things off my chest, opened up doors to finding a good lawyer, community support, and understanding from my coworkers (when random events would lead to me taking off early from shifts), etc. Nothing but good was coming from it. So I want to write about it, too. Here, I don't have a set number of people I'll be scheduled to talk to. Here, I can talk to anyone, anytime. That's a cool feeling. Honestly, if it doesn't suit the reader to hear me out, then they can choose to read another blog, and move past this one. I know my stuff is kind of "raw" or vulnerable, and I know that some people may feel it's completely terrifying to expose this personal information, but to me, it feels good. The more times I have exercised this type of courage, the easier it is to be transparent and have nothing to hide.
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