To Understand Yourself is to Understand the World

First of all, I don't think I could ever say anything as profound as Thoreau or Emerson. I don't even know if I will reach that level of intellect. However, what I have come to understand through therapy, is that we all see the world very differently, even in with the guise of our experiences being the same. Yes, we may laugh at the same jokes, for very similar reasons. There are studies which provide the science behind behavior, body language, and chemicals in our brains and their effects on mood. We all know this; it provides us with a sort of foundation for understanding one another. But at the end of it all, we all were raised by imperfect people, in imperfect societies, with a myriad different circumstances. Those influences (not to mention, genes) have shaped how we see the world. For those of us who are out of balance, as I like to say, we may have a lot of searching to do before we can understand the actions, behaviors, and feelings of others.

How many of you really and truly already understand this? I was raised in a way that I really struggled with self image and my personal beliefs about myself. But I thought I had already made sense of it. I really thought I knew myself on a deeper level than most people knew of themselves. Months of therapy have completely changed my view. I realized I had triggers for anxiety, sadness, and general fears. I didn't know how much something affected me until I was able to peel back the layers I'd been keeping over me. I realize how abstract this is, but I don't think I can articulate exactly what I feel from this.

Do you ever think you're on the brink of a big decision, or you're in this circumstance and you just don't know the right way to handle it? You feel on the one hand, you could do this, but on the other hand, you should do that. A little deeper in your conversation, your therapist says, "Well this is scary for you because X happened when you were a child and since then, you've always been afraid of yada yada." All of a sudden, your mind is blown. If you can sit and think on it, you'll realize many other times in your life where you felt similar, and you will understand it all comes back to a specific event, relationship, or thought that you've clung to for so long.

Does that make sense?

Also, I still advocate for anti-depressants. I don't think I'd be ready for therapy if I didn't have the aid of an anti-depressant to help me be restored to a more balanced state of mind. I think I'd be stirring in my thoughts and unable to really gain control of my emotions long enough to tackle the topics at hand.

But hey, if I don't share my story, someone out there will continue to have his/her wall up with therapy and medicine, and he/she may not feel comfortable enough to reach out and get the help they need.